I’m currently writing a book.
I won’t be on here hardly.
You can reach me here: ineedanoutletformymadness@gmail.com
if you’d like to know what I’m writing.
-Chandler
I’m currently writing a book.
I won’t be on here hardly.
You can reach me here: ineedanoutletformymadness@gmail.com
if you’d like to know what I’m writing.
-Chandler
silverinkblot asked: Is the Two Years post saying that you won't be on as often? If so, that is truly a bummer because younare my ansolute favourite author on here. But I do understand that at one point life has to be lived. Just want to let you know that your writing has always inspired me. Eben when you were simply answering my questions. Thank you.
I won’t be on here at all hardly. But, if you’d like to see what I’m writing, I’d love to send you my author e-mail
— Chandler Schafbuch
It’s been awhile, but I do not shake in regret that I must leave you now.
It’s been two years, and I figure I should muster up enough confidence to know that I can…
So can you all.
So I must go.
I need to do what you’ve, and I’ve dreamt of.
I’m writing my book, and closing this one.
It’s been a real pleasure,
-Chandler
If I told you that I just stood there, with my head against the window, legs supporting my stoic stance, and my eyes completely mesmerized by the manufactures light that framed the pool of black and earthly lightbulbs, would you understand?
Of course you would.
I know you would.
Because I can feel you here too.
People don’t hate school because of the building, or what’s being taught. Think about it.
People hate school because you’re told without a purpose that you are forced to learn.
People hate religion…
People hate religion and they should.
Because religion isn’t God.
You can call it a dream,
You can even call it a vision.
But whatever it was, I saw it, and you just can’t “unsee” things.
You were standing up at the altar on one side, holding the two hands across from you.
This figure didn’t have a face, all I know is that she was wearing white, and you pulled a piece of notebook paper out of your pocket.
And you said those vows with the inflection of a lover, but I saw the black smoke slowly spewing out of your mouth almost like your cigarettes.
But this smoke was thicker, and contained a different smell from the usual menthol.
I asked your parents, who were sitting in the front row with me, if they saw it.
“No.
What on earth?”
This smoke was enveloping your entire face.
I wanted to make it stop.
I wanted you to stop.
But of course, I found my mouth again voluntarily taped shut, and my other senses began to awaken due to my abrupt vocal restrain.
This smoke was making the room fragrant of smog,
your eyes began to sharpen and burn with the intensity that I never knew,
and my body began to tremble in its feebleness while my heart was trying to catch its next breath.
You just kept talking, and it grew.
You said, “I do,”
and the largest pillar of smoke arose from your body like word vomit to a pretty girl.
You became aware.
And so I left.
But why did I have flowers in my hair?
More importantly, why was I wearing white too?
And it’s not like I hope that the wind changes, that there is a glaze over your eyes, a bit of red in your cheeks, or a straight line across your mouth.
In fact, I wish none of these things.
But I can’t help but pull for the man of months ago and his affections for me.
Sometimes, I’m a little human when I know I’m not to be.
I wish this statue before me can still speak with the fluency of burning wax, still exude his innocent childishness, and be able to incompasitate the woman or women of his choosing, or His.
Just smile more please?
Can you?
It sucks to have your mouth voluntarily taped shut.
I’ve found it unnecessary to defend my word of mouth and pen.
And as far as I’m concerned, I’m not built to fight my own battles;
they’ve already been fought for me.
You miss too much if you do that.
You miss too much.
I miss too much of You.
Just like the letters that some tattoo on your skin, you contain the power of choice for the artist.
Now whether you’re reluctant, fearful, adamant, or even demanding of their choice of words, I find it to be the
greatest,
if not the most terrifying thing,
That the mind begins to inflict its humanity,
and you so rapidly become what they’ve gracefully whispered to you in the cool evenings.
When the silence becomes the pitifulness within your maskings of truth instead of a reason or urge to write poetry,
I hope you know it was your choice to be the canvas,
AND YOU HANDED THEM YOUR PAINTBRUSH.
When you’re less of their warmth beside them,
remember you are an artifact.
YOU ARE AN ARTIFACT.
And though your trials of diluting yourself of their traits that were stamped upon you in free will and yearning,
Mark that well.
Hell, take that book you longed to write for so long and write of their statue that sits in your park.
You can make them laugh in your insignificance if you want to.
I chose to laugh at myself.
I removed my temporary tattoos with some warm water,
AND I AM GOING OUT TO BREATHE LIKE I KNEW I COULD
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i am drooling
Soul Searching by MichaelO
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